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Post by RandomMe98 on Dec 15, 2019 0:45:32 GMT
Once upon a time there was a young boy named RandomMe. RandomMe had a YouTube channel, it was all OK when it started, but then he started to suffer from demonetization. RandomMe knew that he had to do something, so he went to the YouTube company. He was told about COPPA and the effects that were going to be in place on January 1, 2020. The year is 2020. As soon as RandomMe wakes up, he realizes that he is now a merman living in some sort of chillout bedroom with vaporwave aesthetics. Bloo wakes him up saying that RandomMe's channel was demonetized and shut down. Now he had to adjust to his new life, but how come? I later turned on the TV. The news were on. BROADCASTING SERVICES OF ATLANTIS NEWSREADER: Good evening. News from the surface world have emerged of millions of people losing their monetization. Users have protested against the measures and were expelled from YouTube's headquarters. I was in shock. I was generating viewers WITHOUT THE USE OF BOTS because of a meme that somehow became viral. Something like "Uro Cola", with terrible dancers coming in from another dimension, calling it "the rhythm of life". Maybe me being a merman, probably living in the outskirts of Atlantis, was a sign of the times. If not, a reward for losing my channel and waking up in another part of the world. What a way to start the new year.
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Post by RandomMe98 on Dec 15, 2019 15:09:03 GMT
Suddenly I left my bedroom door. The room looked familiar to me. It was all purple, full of posters for terrible films, but had two beds. I said to myself: "How is it possible for Ed to live underwater?".
Turns out that even George of the Jungle was there too. The skinny one. Turns out he and Ed were living there since their shows were cancelled. Wait a minute, has my world gone meta?
Back to where I was. Everyone was aware of the whole demonetization issue. They were all questioning how they came down there to an underwater kingdom of some sort. I knew that I wasn't in Atlantis. I later received a call. That king from the two trials. The Kraventhorn kraken that destroyed one of the Atlantises.
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Post by RandomMe98 on Dec 20, 2019 15:35:30 GMT
I went to sleep again. When I woke up, I realized that some furry mascot was on the floor.
It was Rooty.
From A&W.
And as a merbear.
Was he a victim of demonetization? All of a sudden he seemed to speak out on the subject.
"Back in 2012, A&W thought that I was a good idea for making videos. This was before monetization came. It was all about drones, making commercials and Vines. Then they dropped my Vine privileges and now I'm here."
Me: But didn't Vine end a few years ago?
Rooty: That's where my career ended.
And all of a sudden, Rooty wasn't there. Instead I got to see another random mascot who tried to have a monetized career. But nobody bothered.
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Post by RandomMe98 on Dec 25, 2019 14:33:38 GMT
The entire saga started over. After receiving the news, I saw a message on my TV.
"RandomMe, please see me at the field. Important."
I swam to the field. What I saw was a mysterious seer telling me about something.
"RandomMe, we need your help. The entire world has been suffering from demonetization of everything and now the surface world is living in some sort of dictatorship. You need to retrieve eight crystals in less than a week."
"Sounds like a solid deal for me", I answered him. Or her. It was hard to tell because its voice looked distorted.
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Post by RandomMe98 on Dec 25, 2019 22:55:25 GMT
The Seer told me about the eight crystals I would gather within less than a week.
Pink Red Orange Yellow Green Aqua Blue Purple
"The first crystal can be found at Daler Mehndi and Prahbu Devi's apartments. It's divided in two. Good luck."
The Seer later teleported me to an exotic landscape. It was the same world Tunak Tunak Tun was set in. Like the music video, I was divided into four elemental characters. Only one would search for the first half of the crystal, and once that search was completed, we should have merged back as one.
The Four Elemental RandomMes were now coming to place. The Fire Merman, the Ice Merman, the Time Merman and the Land Merman. The world was like a fantasy version of Southall, only more complicated.
There were four places where Daler Mehndi's apartment were located:
1: Southall Travel 2: Daler's Mobiles 3: Daler's Academy 4: Zee TV
Now the hunt for the crystal has begun.
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Post by RandomMe98 on Dec 27, 2019 0:26:37 GMT
Turns out the four of me (and not the four of us, because we just became separate personas) had one slot assigned for each:
Fire: Southall Travel Ice: Daler's Mobiles Time: Daler's Academy Land: Zee TV
The journey of the Fire Merman started with Southall Travel in the front of his very eyes. As soon as he entered the travel agents, he witnessed that the inside had nothing but a door. In the door there was a paper saying "CRYSTAL". Turns out that the door was a booby trap that took him to a bathroom in rural India, and it was filled with government posters about hygiene. Now he was trapped.
The Ice Merman was now inside a mall with over 120 Punjabi-led mobile phone repair stores. Only one of them had a standout name, Daler's Mobiles. Everybody else had similar-sounding names and they all looked fake. It took him over 40 minutes to find the desired store, Daler's Mobiles. But was it the real one?
The Time Merman's journey took him to what seemed to be an academy run by Daler Mehndi. The academy was huge and had an unusually long boxing ring in it. The speaker systems were playing nothing but Tunak Tunak Tun on loop.
The Land Merman was at the door of a building saying "Zee TV". Inside, there were two screens, one playing Zee Punjabi and the other playing Kasamh Se episodes on loop, dubbed in Punjabi, and with extra special effects.
Suddenly, at RandomMe's bedroom, an unexpected stranger came to see me, even though I was in four virtual realities. It was @animegamer. In the bedroom there was a box saying "for him", without directly referring to whom it was directing. Inside there was a box of Ibco Brand tuna - oddly enough as soon as he examined it, the TV set started playing that Ibco Brand commercial. "Now, Ibco Brand also means "fresh Bangladeshi tuna". Keeping the maximum standards of quality control with our other species of fish, kept at our top-secret laboratories in the UK, making you have a quality dinner with your family."
"Ibco Brand. Fresh Bangladeshi tuna", the ad said, in Bengali. "Tuna in Bangladesh. How weird is that?", said animegamer, while the TV set was showing an episode of Wizards of Warna Walk directed by Jack Neo, and set in Singapore. After mashing random buttons on the remote control, he realized that NHK World was delivering up-to-the-hour updates on the monetization issue, with cameras in the virtual realms.
NHK Newsline started.
"Welcome back to NHK Newsline, I'm Raja Pradhan from Tokyo.
The story of a mysterious merman figure simply known as "RandomMe" who has been a victim of demonetization continues."
"RandomMe? A merman?", said animegamer, who appeared as a clone of Nobita, but voiced by the NTV announcer.
Raja continued: "He is starting his quest to find eight hidden crystals and has been teleported to a world reminiscent of a Daler Mehndi music video. The song, Tunak Tunak Tun, has been viewed millions of times online. Now the struggle is real.
According to our latest reports, the Fire Merman has found a way to avert the dirty bathroom, by gluing his hands metaphorically to the ceiling. He opened the ceiling fan and realized that there was a passageway to the Ice Merman's whereabouts. He was looking for Daler's Mobiles where in practice the Ice Merman was already there. He had a lengthy conversation about a broken cellphone but in reality he wasn't Daler Mehndi. The Ice Merman reportedly teleported to Daler's Academy by a reflection caused by a prism created by a cellphone's camera. At Daler's Academy, what happened was a boxing fight between the Time Merman and another Daler, but the Time Merman was weak and Daler catapulted him to Zee TV. It is believed that the remaining mermen are heading towards the Zee TV headquarters to retreive the crystal by natural instinct."
The story was over, the rest of the news was just about Japan-Myanmar trade deals, an archeologist's discovery of a book written by an old merman who thought he lost and, of course, sumo highlights and the weather. animegamer inspected a poster on RandomMe's room that claims to revere Raja Pradhan. "Never in my life I saw such an international man born in Japan, with a South Asian name and a spot-on American accent reading the news with quality", a quote from his old TV critique blog from when RandomMe was a pre-demonetization human.
Now the RandomMes, who lost to a number of men in turbants, were at Zee TV. Four elemental forces, one answer. If they gathered the crystal, everything was going to be under control and they would be one again.
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Post by RandomMe98 on Dec 27, 2019 11:38:37 GMT
The four elemental mermen were now fighting against what seemed to be Daler Mehndi, in what seemed to be the headquarters of an extremely reduced Zee TV. Suddenly the action escalated when elemental Dalers from that music video appear. Each merman tries to fight against their respective counterpart - the Ice Merman freezes one of the Dalers; the Fire Merman launched a fire attack with his merdragon scales; the Time Merman paused the actions of another Daler and the Land Merman threatened to make lava out of the floor. All four Dalers were defeated, but as it turns out, the real Daler Mehndi, who after being a part of a scandal years ago and forced to live there, gave the first half of the crystal. The four mermen gathered it with their hands and merged as one again, only to be teleported to what seemed to be a lush green landscape.
With the first half of the pink crystal now in his inventory, he was ready to dance against the dancers from that music video. The problem is: he is a merman. And dancing was complicated for him. Eventually the man in a jacket came, while RandomMe tried some sick dance moves. He did manage to beat the "Benny Lava" dancers, who positively criticized them in Tamil. They were also impressed at RandomMe's playing of Tamil flutes. Once the musical showdown was over, he found the other half of the crystal. The two magically glued together. Suddenly he and the crystal were both out of control, and he was suddenly back in a clone of his bedroom, only that it was inside Prabhu Devi's apartment. Wonderful.
"RandomMe? RandomMe? RandomMe?", said Prabhu imitating Sheldon. Once he opened the door, he realized that his room was now featuring tons of posters of his. The TV was airing the serial Vasantham on loop, interspersed with Prabhu's music videos. As a parting gift, he gave him an autographed CD. The CD had a bonus track called "Dedicated to RandomMe". It was nothing but a collection of Tamil serial songs. Suddenly RandomMe was waiting for the next crystal. What kind of challenge was it going to be?
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Post by RandomMe98 on Dec 27, 2019 15:45:27 GMT
The Seer said to me: "You have been teleported to the NHK. Please wait."
And at the next minute, I was inside a studio. I received further instructions. The good thing is that I wasn't at NHK World. So there.
In the meanwhile, NHK World began to run a ticker.
"Reports have emerged of the mysterious merman known as RandomMe inside the headquarters of the NHK. It is believed that he is continuing his search for crystals as mentioned yesterday. Stay tuned for NHK NEWSLINE for further updates."
Suddenly, retreiving the red crystal became a chaotic process. They ordered a shutdown of parts of the complex. They were initiating a manhunt. Mermanhunt, to be more accurate? I would lose my "free life" because of a red crystal.
Suddenly, me being in Japan had led to an unexpected exposure to new cultural sensibilities. They said I was a gaijin-ningyo (merman (even though the term also means mermaid) foreigner) and I had to show one of the crystals I gathered, the pink one, to the people who were annoying me.
Very few people were aware of the crystals. Up until then, only the NHK World team, who is more into international news, was aware. Within the next few minutes, someone who was undercover tried to besiege me. They leaked news of the raid and every single news organization, be it a newspaper, a website or a television channel, came to report me. They acted like paparazzis.
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Post by RandomMe98 on Dec 31, 2019 16:08:29 GMT
The quest for the red crystal continued after all the media attention stopped after one day. The red crystal was just there, doing its own thing. He later gathered it, and RandomMe started an insane quest for the orange one.
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Post by RandomMe98 on Dec 31, 2019 16:58:25 GMT
While the hunt for the next crystal started, a message was heard.
"RandomMe, your 2010s were good, but nothing can't outsmart the golden 2000s. I know you believe those were better years, but your perception of the 2010s started in late 2013, a watershed period of time for you.
We hope that you are still mentally in the 2010s unless a new watershed takes place.
Kind regards, The Seer"
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Post by RandomMe98 on Jan 1, 2020 0:47:00 GMT
A message from Khyber Waterman to RandomMe on his quest:
"Dear RandomMe,
I know that you're not monetized, but what you're doing is a great job. Now allow me to talk a little. We're already in 2020. 20 years ago, we thought that in 2020, there would be flying cars everywhere, teleporting and cloning. Obviously we got another kind of future, and because of that I stopped believing in that.
I have quit my job at a television channel in a country you made up six years ago - I wasn't there but I recorded a farewell message to "Channel A" - where I was its controller from 2010 to 2013.
Its parent company, Couch Slave Entertainment, is struggling, with only three or four television series, including my own, Khyber: The Animated Series, running in its sixth season. And there's no way to stop it, at least for now. They say that I'm earning more quantities of money every 13 sets of episodes we produce.
Honestly the shutdown of Channel A was a huge watershed - a cultural watershed for many of the people working there. But now, it seems that my place at CEO os Couch Slave is over.
I will resign in the coming days - and I hope COPPA won't even ruin your channel.
Best of luck, Khyber Waterman"
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Post by RandomMe98 on Jan 6, 2020 23:01:37 GMT
All of a sudden, in the middle of the quest, RandomMe begins sensing something.
It was time for COPPA.
Everyone without monetization was out of choice. The quest for the crystals seemed over.
"Dear RandomMe Entertainment,
have you heard the news already? COPPA is now in place! Half of YouTube will lose its mind over a law! Remember: this is an official law, will affect the entire world and will be undone.
Your quest for the crystals might end up in nothing.
Signed, the Channel Manager"
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Post by RandomMe98 on Jan 8, 2020 0:06:41 GMT
The search for the orange crystal was done in the most austere way possible. No fights, no quests. In what felt like an off example of what life was now, it was a game of Kahoot. Fronted by, of all people, Rooty. Who appeared on my room about demonetization. But even though he looked like the mascot, he was 1000 times smarter than the actual mascot. "Welcome to your Kahoot. Here you're not using a computer or a smartphone to play the game. Here, you can try and choose your answer with the power of your mind." Smart Rooty said, sounding like Bill Wurtz by the time he finished the introductory speech. I later realized that Rooty was behind me, until in reality he was barely literate to finish the quiz. The 25 contestants (row 1 is closest to the screen, row 5 is farthest): 1: That guy from Generations that says "Am I a joke to you"; Milo (fish); Milo (human); Milo (merman); Bangladeshi Ness2: Mr. Warren himself; a merman having A&W for lunch; Asian kid from Minnesota having A&W for lunch; random girl from Mr. Warren's Kahoot song; AJ 3: Bangladeshi British woman; a kid under the effects of Uro Cola; me; counterfeit Patrick; DJ (merman) 4:Merbear; merguinea pig; Rooty himself; anthropomorphic but static root beer float with the ice cream above having a mind of its own; anthropomorphic but static avocado 5: Ice Merbear, who is currently listening to Like the Wind; merlion; Malaysian Endabyu, facing problems in the quiz before it even started; random kid from an old Endabyu commercial; black kid with a Mario shirt The rest were all cool kids. I was out of the rest. Or so I thought.
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Post by RandomMe98 on Jan 17, 2020 10:49:30 GMT
Kahoot character profiles: A1: doesn't even speak in English, requires subtitles A2: can swim, even if it's not in a real underwater setting A3: pretends to be a merman just by staying bare-chested all day A4: what A3 wants to be A5: might lead to confused kids convincing them to eat chocolate sticks that he considers to be "great" B1: wants to play Kahoot with you B2: eats with D3 quite a lot B3: eats with B2 quite a lot B4: says that "there's no running from this L if you know you didn't study" B5: the smartest kid C1: selects the best fresh Bangladeshi fish and says that life gets easier with it C2: is under effects of Uro Cola, might do impossible body movements C3: someone who has never been monetized (me) and is a merman (-500% me) C4: a constantly smiling Patrick C5: former Total Drama contestant turned king of some merman kingdom off the Ghanaian coast D1: predator of the seas D2: D3's pet D3: is a bear with huge charisma, but lacks the attention of the cool kids, seems to have an unhealthy obsession with root beer and often gets sick D4: is undrinkable and solid, can fly and is also D5's best friend D5: D4's best friend except that it's static and is smart E1: is lonely and only listens to obscure music E2: is everything that Singapore's "national animal" always wanted to be, not just a lionfish E3: is D3's Malaysian cousin who has many problems at school, used to be top of the class and is taking remedial classes E4: was enticed by E3's "completely satisfying taste of A&W" 25 years ago and has never been rejuvenated E5: is A-OK and is ready for school So now it was time for the Kahoot to take place properly. However, a bit of a conversation started between RandomMe and Rooty. RandomMe: So is it true that you get sick that often? Rooty: Yeah, that's pretty normal. My corporate endorsement is infinite, when I wasn't that much of a big face I was pretty healthy lel RandomMe: So I guess that you're here because you seem to like names ending in "-oot", right? Rooty: Says it all. Used to play Crash Bandicoot while living in refuge. meanwhile Root Beer Float: Say, I wonder why do you watch those Avocado Couple cartoons, when you don't even have hands like me. Avocado: blame my owner _;_ Malaysian Endabyu: QUIET I'M TRYING TO STUDY HERE Rooty: Seriously, you look just like me. Ice Merbear: "Like the wind you came here running take the consequence of living" (sleeps and drools to the song played on loop on his old iPod while keeping his precious sky blue tail on the chair) RandomMe: So basically you and Yogi are friends, right? Rooty: I cut my relations with him. Little did I know that I became friends with Norm, and he gave me a brief appearance on Norm of the North to make up for it. By the way, do you have any friends? RandomMe: I have merfriends, probably. Guess your friend is that talking root beer float. Rooty: No way, it's solid. You can't even drink it. RandomMe: Fine, the only friends I have here: not much, especially since I'm not into you, and that guy on my left is just doing weird dance moves. "The rhythm of life", he says. So anyway, if you're looking for the strictest definition, then it has to be Milo and that fatty merman. You might love him, orange tail and everything, if only there's an A&W underwater. Oh, the Ice Merbear too. I'm trying to understand his inner workings. He only listens to obscure music tracks. In the broadest sense I have AJ, the Asian kid in front of me and the human Milo, who is basically his merman counterpart's sidekick of sorts. They even sound alike. You still have any friends other than Norm? Rooty: No, and don't ask me about Canada. You can ask about my Malaysian cousin, however I believe his mind is just thinking about . By the way, what's taking it so long? Kahoot should start now.
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Post by RandomMe98 on Jan 20, 2020 16:08:06 GMT
WARNING: this part of The Monetization is out of format - for now - due to my Surface's keyboard not working. Also the HP I'm writing from will be occupied. This message will be dropped once I rewrite.
So now it was time for the Kahoot to start. Suddenly, my desk opened. Some mysterious object came to it. Once it stopped, I just asked Rooty. Not the one behind me, but the one behind the Kahoot.
So, what's this?
"A kahoot beer float. The taste of A&W in a purple liquid with rainbow shapes stuck to it for no apparent reason. If you want to look for the orange crystal, try drinking it."
I had to say so, because the "beverage" (or so I thought) looked toxic at first glance. Even for a merman who never drank it, let alone a root beer float, and let alone there being a TALKING ROOT BEER FLOAT IN THE ROOM, I started it. The questions appeared in my head as I was filling it with purple liquids. The others were trying to struggle, but managed to get the real answers on the Kahoot. There were 12 questions.
The questions were as follows:
1: What's the name of the policy introduced by YouTube though has been under American legislation for more than twenty years? A: COPPA B: SOPA C: PIPA D: KRAVA
2: What country is an important producer of pressed bunson? 1: India [/b]B: Bangladesh[/b] 3: Myanmar 4: Kenya
3: What is the main issue regarding food in Singapore? A: Packaging B: Perewreca C: Peninciline D: Phatoo
4: How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None B: One C: An adult D: Depends on how hot the lightbulb is
5: Is it possible to combat pyracy?
A: Yes
B: No
C: Maybe
D: Report any culprit to the police.
6: How many times did Kazakhstan win the Eurovision Song Contest? A: None
B: Once
C: Twice
D: Never took part
7: What kind of show is Tlentifini Maarhaysu?
A: Foreign
B: Science
C: Entertainment
D: News
8: Is it true that root beer floats are BFFs with avocados?
A: Yes
B: Yes
C: Yes
D: Yes
9: Robério is a commercial actor and owner of what stores?
A: Star Chic
B: Star Chic's
C: Star's Chic
D: Star's Chic's
10: What is RandomMe's issue? A: Monetization
B: Demonetization
C: COPPA demonetization
D: Kraventhorn demonetization
11: That means that he is a merman because?
A: They're in kahoots with Kahoot players B: They are interested in dry cleaning C: Kraventhorn imprisions people D: Hope is remote
12: Why are there two Rootys? A: One is the mascot and the other is smart B: One is Homestar Runner in disguise and the other is not C: The two are one and the same, but under two physical bodies D: None of the above
The Kahoot ended, but are the results enough for him to retrieve the orange crystal insode the float that wasn't? Stay tuned.
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